It was hard coming back to Duke after experiencing DukeEngage and studying abroad. I felt I had so many experiences to share and no one to actually listen. At times I felt like I had matured so much while my friends had all stayed the same. They don’t understand the connections I had with the people of Medellín and it is difficult to convey how much I miss the city. I wanted to use what I learned from my trip to do something more meaningful at Duke. I changed my schedule in order to sign up for a service learning course, and it has been my favorite class at Duke so far. I learned from the amazing friendships we had with the compañeros to be more open and welcoming to new people. Duke seemed like a bubble that had gone through few changes while I had grown so much. My friends showed some interest in my videos, but show no more curiosity beyond that. I felt like people still saw me as who I was before DukeEngage when I wanted to show them who I had become. Slowly, I have reintegrated myself back at Duke but I don’t want to forget Medellín. I want people to keep asking me about my DukeEngage experience, I want to share my videos and the blog. I have a lot of pictures up in my apartment of the compañeros and Medellín that I look at every day. While they serve as decorations, they also help me remember my time in Colombia. I am scared of forgetting the families I met and the experiences I had. It feels so easy to fall back into my previous routine, go back to the old me and I don’t want to do that.
Cassidy Fleck
When I returned to Duke I did see things differently. I became more aware of the socioeconomic disparity between students, faculty and Durham residents. I was angry and still am about the way students treat wealth and their positions of privilege within Duke and within the community. I am currently writing an article about how one of my close friend’s atypical journey to Duke, one from poverty and drug-addicted parents, has informed her undergraduate career.
Jessica David
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I think I was in a very interesting position
when I returned from Medellín. Not being able to complete the project, I often
felt that I had let the team down. I was fortunate enough that during my time
in Colombia, I had the opportunity to capture a story that was used in the
final production but once I turned everything over to my fellow DukeEngagers, I
felt very disconnected from the entire project. When I returned home, I was
faced with some very intense emotions—sadness and grief from the loss of my
brother, anger that I could not finish a commitment that I started, and
frustration that two aspects of my life had come to an end and I was left to
deal with the repercussions. I was also faced with the question regarding the
difference I had made during my time in Colombia. What impact had I really made
with those displaced families, in Medellín, and in the world? A question that I
didn’t give as much consideration involved the impact my experience had had on
me. In all, I would say that I saw Duke differently because of the latter of
the two. I wasn’t really sure how to apply my experience to my last year in
undergrad but I was definitely more aware—more alert, appreciative, observant.
I knew that some of the very students I sat in class with had remarkable
stories just like the ones of the amazing individuals I met in Medellín. If
nothing else, I was also very grateful for the time I had shared with so many
people in such a short span. As I stated before, participating in this experience
changed my outlook on the world. Although I wasn’t sure how I would apply my
experience to my remaining semesters at Duke, I would counter that by saying
that I’ve been able to apply it to my daily life as a student just by the way I
interact with others. This experience provided me with a much more
tolerant/acceptant outlook. When I engage with others, I never know how our
interactions will impact one another. Our paths may have crossed because they
have something meaningful to offer me or I may have something meaningful that
will help them. Regardless, I now feel a sense of purpose for many of the
occurrences in life. I have learned to appreciate the present for what it is
and has to offer.
Gideon Rosenthal
The biggest thing I noticed upon my return was the lack of
diversity I was surrounded by at Duke, and for the most part my entire life. I
went to a Jewish day school until 8th grade and a high school with
only 80 kids in my graduating class. At Duke, my social circle is largely
comprised of students who are very similar to me. One of the biggest things I
was therefore able to take away from DE Medellin was to spend time with people
who I otherwise would not have.
The other thing that I noticed was how trivial some of our
“crises” are at Duke. What people give importance to, get anxious over and even
lose sleep because of do not seem as important as the issues faced by the
communities in Medellin. Everything is relative, so our “problems” are not
insignificant but it is important to put them into perspective.
Natalie Robles
The Duke I saw when I first came
back from Colombia and the Duke I saw when I came back from New York were very
different. I visited my friends for several hours sometime before I was about
to head up to spend the semester in New York. I had just come back from
Medellín and had spent a few days at home. There was an opportunity for me to
go up to Duke to visit friends and so I called up about four or five friends to
let them know I was coming. I was on a high when I saw everyone, especially
since these were my closest of friends; I thought there was a chance I could
finally let go and talk about how confused and excited going to Medellín had
made me feel. Some friends made me feel different than others; I’d felt like I
needed to act casual about going to Colombia, in some cases. In others, I could
let myself go and freak out, saying, “OH MY GOD, THOSE WERE THE BEST TWO MONTHS
OF MY LIFE!” But the actual prospect of coming onto campus was even more
surreal than seeing my friends. My mom dropped me off in front of the Chapel,
and I was taken aback by Duke’s beauty. It was so gray, stoic, and grandiose,
but it was home. I ran into my friends’ arms, jumping up in down in excitement,
overjoyed and ecstatic. We talked and I told them about some of my crazy
adventures. But I was even more interested in hearing what they had to say
about their summers and their lives. What had been going on while I was gone? I
had hoped things didn’t change much. I felt selfish in that I thought I was the
only one who could have a life-changing experience, but no one else could. All
my friends were required to stay the same and have not done anything over the
summer. But of course they did, and they seemed very relaxed and happy. I, on
the other hand, felt like I was going to jump out of my skin, trying to hold
back all of my emotions. I had missed them so much; they were Duke for me. They
were a vital part of my life now, and without seeing them for two months, I’d
felt incomplete. And in just a couple days, I’d be heading up to New York to be
away from them for four more months. I wanted them to know that I still cared
for them so much, and that without most of them, I felt lost. So I wanted to
soak in these last moments with them as much as I could. It was a sad, but
revitalizing day.
The Duke I
came back to four months later was one that I was not used to, but also able to
flow back into. I was in a new dorm, in a single, and I made a huge effort to
see my friends all of the time. We weren’t on the same hall, or right next door
to one another, like we had been the previous year, but I was grateful to be
back. My friends had changed, but for the better, and most of my closest
friends and I still had an extremely strong connection to one another.
Everything is back to normal, and I am happy; happy to be home.
